Intelligence. Venture Out.TLDR;
Horses are born spooky. They think everything is out to kill them.
Training a horse not to freak out is what horse people call, “desensitizing to fear.” Learn this concept – as a manager, you’re going to do this in your own life.
To help a horse overcome fear, you train their mind to override their instinct and trust something else…you. And it’s not natural for the horse; they must learn to trust something else. One of the cardinal rules of horsemanship is always train a horse to face fear.
Managers regularly encounter many scary things. Face them and never take your eyes off them until the scary thing is gone. Over time, this will recondition your brain to not spook or want to run when hard times come.
When you face danger, something magic happens in your brain…you’re incapable of panic. Simply facing danger is a victory. If you turn your back, you’ve lost.
When facing fear, you can’t guarantee the outcome, but there’s a good chance you won’t regret moving into hard things. Rarely (never) have I heard a manager say, “the best thing I did was avoid the problem.”
Facing fear is the quickest way to grow your managerial confidence, increase your management aptitudes, and find resolution.
Too many managers are spooked by the scary stuff.
Face the danger.
Horses are born spooky. They think everything is out to kill them. Before I had horses, I did not know this.
When ready to mount a horse, riders usually ask, “does it spook or buck?” Of course it does. It’s a prey animal and you’re a predator climbing on its back. To them, you may as well be a lion.
The natural behavior of horses (spooking and bucking) makes sense – it’s their only defense. Yet we see people riding horses all the time – so something must be happening where the horse decides having a predator on its back is OK. Sooooo…what’s happening?
Lots. But one of those things is what horse people call, “desensitizing to fear.” Let me explain because as a manager, you’re going to do this in your own life.
You’re on a horse. Let’s make it my horse, Moose. He’s a big, gentle fella. Imagine you’re riding down a beautiful trail, in a huge field, and it’s mid-morning as the sun just starts to warm things up. Moose’s head is low, he’s relaxed, and you’re in perfect partnership. Then Moose stops. His head comes up. His ears perk. And he looks to the woods about 50 yards away. You look to see what has gotten his attention. Bear.
Moose wants to leave…it’s a bear. Bears kill horses. That’s the simple mind of a horse: bear + horse = horse runs. You feel Moose’s muscles flex, his energy rises, his heartbeat increases, and he lifts his front leg to turn and go. But you don’t let him. You signal him to look square at that bear and never take his eyes off it. Ever. No matter what the bear does, you keep Moose facing that bear. Because as a horseman, you know you never allow a horse to run from danger.
Ep 277: Helping Your Horses Face Their Fears — Phil Haugen Horsemanship
To help a horse overcome fear, you train their mind to override their instinct and trust something else…you. And it’s not natural for the horse; they must learn to trust something else. One of the cardinal rules of horsemanship is always train a horse to face fear. And after a while, like Moose does now, they will actually move toward the next scary thing. Now, when Moose and I find a bear, it’s the bear that moves, not us. When horse and rider find that level of partnership, it’s hard to describe how special it is.
I think most humans have a similar instinct to a horse – we want to avoid scary things. Our nature is to run. Avoid.
Managers regularly encounter many scary things. Face them and never take your eyes off them until the scary thing is gone. Over time, this will recondition your brain to not spook or want to run when hard times come. Once again, moving toward fear is a learned skill. Because hard times will come. Whether it’s that difficult employee, the conflict that is consuming the office, or the budget cuts, hard times will come. And one day, once you’ve conditioned yourself, you will naturally turn to face the danger.
Just like Moose, facing the scary thing will become your first instinct. You will begin to trust something else – your disciplined mind.
When you face danger, something magic happens in your brain…you’re incapable of panic. Simply facing danger is a victory. If you turn your back, you’ve lost.
How Can Facing Your Worst Fears Ease Anxiety and Panic? | Psychology Today
When you condition yourself to face your fear, you learn most things won’t kill you. Most dangers dissolve. And usually, things are not as scary as we perceive them to be. Moose and I have encountered predators in the woods and they’ve all walked away. Turns out bears are actually scared of 1400-pound, confident horses. Most of the scary things you face will resolve, also.
Chances are, talking to that employee about their poor behavior will be easier than you imagine. Announcing budget cuts won’t kill you. And accepting that public speaking opportunity won’t be a disaster. And though guarantees can’t be made when facing your fear, you can be assured running from it will make the situation worse. When facing fear, you can’t guarantee the outcome, but there’s a good chance you won’t regret moving into hard things. Rarely (never) have I heard a manager say, “the best thing I did was avoid the problem.”
Your people need a confident you. They need you to move toward hard things. They’re counting on you. And they are watching you. My horse would naturally run away from danger. He needs me to help his confidence by keeping him facing the danger to the point of asking him to move toward it. He won’t choose to do this on his own, he needs me to help him. And through doing so, I help him grow his confidence.
Your people need you to help them. Some of your company values need promoted but you’re shying away from the friction it will cause. Some boundaries need upheld but you’re avoiding it because of pushback. Some standards of excellence need reinforced, but you may lose people who resist you. Be bold. Square up. For every noble quest, there are resistors you will face; dangers. Never take your eyes off the danger. Face it and walk right at it.
Facing fear is the quickest way to grow your managerial confidence, increase your management aptitudes, and find resolution.
Think of a danger or scary thing in your life right now or something you’re avoiding. What would it look like to face it? Now do it. Move toward it. And learn what it feels like to override your instinct to run. It’s a learned skill. The learned skill of facing your fears will carry over into many areas of your life: a parent facing a difficult teenager, repairing a broken relationship with a friend, or overcoming a crippling fear of failure.